Really bad and emotional day

Today is clear fluids only. It is really hard. I am really needing chocolate and junk food. I am super emotional and when I get like this I always turn to food as my comfort. Now that I can not have food right now, I feel lost and alone. My stress level is sky high and there is nothing I can do about it. I know this is only temporary but it is so hard.

I only have 38 hours to go until I have my surgery. I am getting very nervous and scared and excited all at the same time. There is just so many emotions going through me right now and I don't have my crutch anymore. It is a good thing, but hard to get used to. I have lost 7 pounds since the 18th when I started my liquid diet, 14 since I was placed in the bariatric program in May. It is not as much weight as I would have liked, but it is still 14 pounds gone. My jeans are a little looser already and that is a good thing. I will try to post the evening after my surgery and let you all know how I am, if not then, I will post by Friday evening. So here I am, saying so long to the old me and bring on the REAL me!!

1 week to go!

Well, in exactly 1 week I will be in surgery. Today I went in and had blood work done, an EKG and a Chest Xray. Mind you, I did all this with a 2 1/2 yr old little Princess in tow. Yep, no sitter so off we went. She did pretty well and begged for stickers from each department. Shy ended up with 8 stickers while I had to change to a gown, twice, and got stuck with a needle. LOL

We are down to the wire now. I am feeling a lot better on the liquid diet, not as weak or run down. I am pretty tired at the moment, but that is mostly due to all the stuff I had to do at the doctors, which of course came after cutting my 10 yr old son's hair, running to the store for his lunch stuff and getting him to school on time. A mother's life is always busy, lol.

For breakfast today I had a protein drink (Matrix brand- Mint Cookie) it tastes pretty yummy really. Then had my water while running around. For lunch I am having Egg Flower Soup from a local restaurant called Bill Lee's. I will be getting a TON of this soup on Monday and Tuesday since I have to have only CLEAR fluids those days.

I need to remember to take my vitamins too, I keep forgetting :( . I am working on getting everything in the house ready for when I have surgery. I want to make life as easy as possible for my hubby. He is awesome, but works full-time and is not used to having to manage the kids and the house while still working. So for now it is off to the grocery store, something I have been dreading because I love food and well, I can not have any right now.

Well, today is day 3 of my liquid diet. I lost 4 pounds on day one and 2 pounds on day 2. I will not lie to you guys, this is hard! I have banned myself from the kitchen as much as possible. Making food for the kids kills me. I keep thinking "One bite will not kill me" and I am right, 1 bite would not hurt, but I know I would not stop at 1. So Sunday I had 1 scrambled egg for brunch with my string cheese. 1 protein drink, TONS of sugarfree Popsicles and water. Monday I had 3 protein drinks, poweraid, an egg and a cheese stick. So far today it is cheese, 2 protein drinks and tea with splenda. I am still hungry. My body is in shock and this has caused my vertigo to act up. I am super tired but have a 2 1/2 yr old at home and can not just stop and rest.

I really wish my husband could work from home, it would help so much. But this will all get better in time and it is totally worth it. I just have to stick it out till the end. And then the end, becomes a new beginning.

Night before my 10 day liquid only diet....

Well, it is the night before I start the 10 day liquid diet. I am a mess of emotions. I am totally excited to be starting this new chapter in my life, it has been an uphill battle but I am excited still. On the other hand, I am stressing about the fact that I will not be able to have more than 2 servings of solid food (mind you, there are only 2 things on the O.K. list of solid foods and that is a single egg and 1 ounce of cheese) Other than that, it is protein drinks, clear sugar free drinks and thats it.

10 days of only liquids. No carbs. No meats. No fruits. Just water, Crystal Light, Protein drinks and an egg or 2. And I am suppose to be able to keep up with my kids during this time. I am worried about how I am going to manage 2 rambunctious kids, the cleaning, the errands don't forget.... THE COOKING!!! The grocery shopping. The "Mom I'm hungry can you make me a peanut butter sandwich?" Oh God, peanut butter and BREAD! I hope I can manage to do all this without snacking or stealing a bite.

I pray my husband has the patients to put up with me during this trying time. The 10 days of liquids is only the beginning. Then there is the actual day of surgery. I know there will be pain. I am fully aware of what to expect after surgery. I know this will be an even tougher period than the liquids, but it will be so worth it. I will be healthier, be able to run around with my kids more. Go backpacking, hiking, run, maybe start up mountain climbing. All this without having to stop every 50 yards cause I can't breathe or because I just can not go on.

I will probably be posting frequently from this point forward. It may also be mostly venting and screaming but it will be a way for me de-stress. Well, until then. Wish me luck!

Received my Chewable Vitamin Samples today

Hey everyone, I have 5 days left before I start my 10 day liquid only diet. One of the things I have been having a hard time grasping is the fact that I will need chewable vitamins. I have a hard time with weird textures and it took me a while FOREVER to get used to TUMS when I was pregnant. So just the thought of chewable vitamins made me start to gag right away. Well, I got my samples in the mail today. Below is the picture of my samples:

From left to right I got: 1 B-12 Sublingual in Cherry, Multi chewables in Grape, mandarin orange, Forrest Berry and Pineapple/strawberry, the Calcium Plus 500 (includes vit-D) in berries & cream, hot cocoa, cherry tart and a strawberry cream, Also a Calcet Bite in Chocolate. Next is an Iron + C 30mg Chewable in Grape and then a Vitamin D3 sublingual 5000 IU quick melt (this does not specify a flavor). FINALLY, the long white packet is a drink. It is a Multivitamin and calcium drink mix. Each packet contains 1 complete dose of vitamins and minerals including 500mg of calcium (as calcium lactate-gluconate). It says if you follow the recommended instructions and consume 2 packets a day you will fulfill your vitamin requirements and also 1,000mg of calcium. Although you would still need at least 1 more dose of calcium. I am really excited to try these out.

I just tried the Mandarin Orange Multi Vitamin and this was very easy to chew and almost smooth!!! And SOOOOOOO yummy!!! I can not wait to try the other ones tomorrow!!!

The beginning

Well, where to begin. I have not always had a weight issue. Although it did seem to become a problem around the age of 16 after the sudden and unexpected death of my father. In the last 10 years, I have consistently put on about 5 pounds a year. I know what you are saying, '5 pounds, really? You're complaining about 5 pounds'. Well add those pounds up over 10 years and you find yourself 50 (FIFTY) pounds heavier. And in 20 years? You will be 100 pounds heavier.

I have tried SEVERAL weight loss plans, pills, programs, etc. Yeah, I would lose anywhere from 4-12 pounds but in the end, I will have gained it all back, plus the 5 pounds. So I decided, on the advice of my doctor, to go through a 12 week course on weight loss and bariatric surgery. I went into it with the idea of this class will teach me how to eat right, how/when to exercise and really help me get through the mountain I would always hit.

After the first few classes I realized that surgery a positive really the way to go. You see, I am a food addict. I love food, and it loves me. I would celebrate, grieve and even entertain with it. So after hearing how one surgeries can help me, I was in. I stayed for the remaining 12 weeks of training. And that is exactly what it was, TRAINING. They train you eat the right foods in the right amounts. The train you on what to expect before, during and even after your surgery. I had done the whole counting calories before and while it helped, it also was incorrect. It is true that the calories you burn than you put will result in weight loss. The fact is you have to look at the number of servings and the TRUE serving size. (I will go over this in depth in a later post). You learn what each surgery is about, how it works, what it does and whether or not it is right for you.

So here I am. I just got my date for surgery, the 28th of September. I do have to go on a 10 liquid only diet before surgery to make sure my doctor can see where his sharp utensils are going, lol.I am getting pretty excited about the road that is out in front of me. There are going to be many bumps and pot holes in this road, but it will also be a wonderful and exciting journey for me as well as my loved ones around me. 

Until next week...

Searching.