3 weeks post-op

Hey there, it is had been a very busy 3 weeks! I am no longer hurting from the surgery, but because I am hardly getting calories, I am very tired and get run down easily. I have been on a liquid diet, although I am eating very soft foods too. My body was just telling me I needed more to function. And with a toddler and 10 yr old, I could not be that run down all the time. I am down to 195, not as much of a loss as I was hoping for, but a loss still. That is 9 pounds in 3 weeks or 3 pounds a week.

I had to go in for re-hydration IVs twice now.  This first time was because I was so drugged up on my pain meds I was sleeping all the time and not drinking my fluids. The 2nd time I actually was sick with some cold virus and get dehydrated. I tell ya, I am so sick and tired of getting poked!!!

I do not get those hunger pains anymore, but sadly I still get those "I am bored" ones. I miss my friend Food. Food has been there all my life. It was there when I sad, or happy. It was there everyday and twice on my birthdays. Food has been my comfort and celebration. Now I am having to relearn how to get through all the ups and downs of life without using my good friend Food. It is still a long road, but I am getting there, little by little.


Well, thats all for right now. I am going to go to bed. Night!

Ok, I am 1 week post-op now. I am feeling about 85% back to normal. Still have severe pain if I sneeze or cough hard, but that is all normal. I am on a full fluid diet, which includes diluted 100% fruit juices, strained soups, thinned cream of wheat and of course my protein drinks and vitamins. I went in on surgery day at 204 (same as the day I found out I was pregnant) and I am sitting at 197 today. That is 7 pound loss in 7 days! I was referred to the options program in the beginning of May at 228 pounds, so that is a total of 31 pounds! If you are trying to figure out what that is, go to the produce section of the grocery store and pick up 3 10 pounds bags of potatoes and walk around with them for a while. You will be amazed at just how much that is.

But I am not done, not by far. My goal is to reach 135 pounds. I would like to reach this goal by May 31, 2012. This will be the 1 year mark since I started the weight loss program. Now, that will be a total of 93 pounds GONE! Here are the dates and weights I have done so far:
Early May 2011: 228 pounds 
May 31, 2011: 222 pounds, started the 12 week weight loss program
August 16, 2011: 215.5 end of weight loss program
September 8, 2011: 214 saw surgeon and set surgery date
September 18, 2011: 214 started liquid diet
September 28, 2011: 204 Day of surgery
October 5, 2011: 197 1 week post-op

I will not lie to you. This is NOT the easy way out. If you are thinking you can just go in and have the surgery and everything will be fine, YOU.ARE.WRONG! You need to mentally and physically prepare yourself for a complete lifestyle change. You will be able to eat real food, but not right away. You need to kill all your soda junkie and binge eating BEFORE you have surgery. You really should stop smoking too. You have to get used to eating small portions. I mean, we go to a restaurant and you get this HUGE over flowing plate of food and if you are anything like I was, you pretty much cleaned you plate cause that is how my generation was raise. You what is on your plate and don't leave the table till it is done. Well, that idea has to go bye-bye. You must learn to listen to your body, know when you are satisfied, not full. I was so happy when I got to have a bowl of cream of wheat the other day. Know how much I ate till done? Less than a TABLESPOON!!! Yes, I had less than 1 single tablespoon of cream of wheat and I was completely satisfied.

I am very happy that I made this decision and that I will soon be the same person on the outside, as I am on the inside. I will be doing mostly weekly updates here now with my weight loss progress. Thank you so much for following and cya soon!

Surgery Day, 9-28-2011

Ok, this was the day! I went to the hospital at 7:30am and waited. And then waited some more. At around 10am they started prepping me to go to OR. It took a nurse 3 tries to get an IV in my arms. The first one I completely passed out on. The second attempt totally blew my vein (I have a 4 inch round bruise to prove it) and then FINALLY they got one in, 3rd times a charm. Anyway, I say goodbye to my hubby which I totally hated, and was wheeled to the OR. It was freezing in there, but they did have ACDC playing, at least that is what they said was playing. I scooted to the table and they used tape to strap down my arms, apparently they could not find the velcro, and then I woke up in recovery. I asked for my husband and kept getting told in a minute, in a minute. Well, he was finally able to come see me and a nurse told him say hello and then go back and wait.

I finally get to my room and all I really did was sleep. I was so tired. They gave me a wonderful button that gives me my pain meds every 10 minutes. I pushed at 5 seconds past 10 minutes every time I was awake. Night time was coming so hubby went to grab a bite to eat and get the kids from my in laws, they were nice enough to take them for us while I had surgery. He brought them back to see me and my son gave me the flowers from them all. Then they all left and I was alone.

You would think that being in the hospital would mean that the nurses would take care of you right? WRONG. My pain meds ran out and it took 45 minutes to get it refilled, my nurse gave me such a horrible attitude that I got up on my own to use the restroom which opened an incision and made it bleed. I had to walk the hall ALONE cause the nurse 'had other patients to tend too." My husband was pissed when he heard this.

I finally get to go home and rest which was awesome. I missed my bed and my family. I was not staying on top of my fluids and became dehydrated on Saturday so I had to go back to the hospital and get fluids. I hate needles so anything that requires me getting stuck, SUCKS! Today is Sunday and I had a little energy so went with the family to the store, used all my energy and now I am back in bed. I hope this part does not last long, it is really getting old.

Really bad and emotional day

Today is clear fluids only. It is really hard. I am really needing chocolate and junk food. I am super emotional and when I get like this I always turn to food as my comfort. Now that I can not have food right now, I feel lost and alone. My stress level is sky high and there is nothing I can do about it. I know this is only temporary but it is so hard.

I only have 38 hours to go until I have my surgery. I am getting very nervous and scared and excited all at the same time. There is just so many emotions going through me right now and I don't have my crutch anymore. It is a good thing, but hard to get used to. I have lost 7 pounds since the 18th when I started my liquid diet, 14 since I was placed in the bariatric program in May. It is not as much weight as I would have liked, but it is still 14 pounds gone. My jeans are a little looser already and that is a good thing. I will try to post the evening after my surgery and let you all know how I am, if not then, I will post by Friday evening. So here I am, saying so long to the old me and bring on the REAL me!!

1 week to go!

Well, in exactly 1 week I will be in surgery. Today I went in and had blood work done, an EKG and a Chest Xray. Mind you, I did all this with a 2 1/2 yr old little Princess in tow. Yep, no sitter so off we went. She did pretty well and begged for stickers from each department. Shy ended up with 8 stickers while I had to change to a gown, twice, and got stuck with a needle. LOL

We are down to the wire now. I am feeling a lot better on the liquid diet, not as weak or run down. I am pretty tired at the moment, but that is mostly due to all the stuff I had to do at the doctors, which of course came after cutting my 10 yr old son's hair, running to the store for his lunch stuff and getting him to school on time. A mother's life is always busy, lol.

For breakfast today I had a protein drink (Matrix brand- Mint Cookie) it tastes pretty yummy really. Then had my water while running around. For lunch I am having Egg Flower Soup from a local restaurant called Bill Lee's. I will be getting a TON of this soup on Monday and Tuesday since I have to have only CLEAR fluids those days.

I need to remember to take my vitamins too, I keep forgetting :( . I am working on getting everything in the house ready for when I have surgery. I want to make life as easy as possible for my hubby. He is awesome, but works full-time and is not used to having to manage the kids and the house while still working. So for now it is off to the grocery store, something I have been dreading because I love food and well, I can not have any right now.

Well, today is day 3 of my liquid diet. I lost 4 pounds on day one and 2 pounds on day 2. I will not lie to you guys, this is hard! I have banned myself from the kitchen as much as possible. Making food for the kids kills me. I keep thinking "One bite will not kill me" and I am right, 1 bite would not hurt, but I know I would not stop at 1. So Sunday I had 1 scrambled egg for brunch with my string cheese. 1 protein drink, TONS of sugarfree Popsicles and water. Monday I had 3 protein drinks, poweraid, an egg and a cheese stick. So far today it is cheese, 2 protein drinks and tea with splenda. I am still hungry. My body is in shock and this has caused my vertigo to act up. I am super tired but have a 2 1/2 yr old at home and can not just stop and rest.

I really wish my husband could work from home, it would help so much. But this will all get better in time and it is totally worth it. I just have to stick it out till the end. And then the end, becomes a new beginning.

Night before my 10 day liquid only diet....

Well, it is the night before I start the 10 day liquid diet. I am a mess of emotions. I am totally excited to be starting this new chapter in my life, it has been an uphill battle but I am excited still. On the other hand, I am stressing about the fact that I will not be able to have more than 2 servings of solid food (mind you, there are only 2 things on the O.K. list of solid foods and that is a single egg and 1 ounce of cheese) Other than that, it is protein drinks, clear sugar free drinks and thats it.

10 days of only liquids. No carbs. No meats. No fruits. Just water, Crystal Light, Protein drinks and an egg or 2. And I am suppose to be able to keep up with my kids during this time. I am worried about how I am going to manage 2 rambunctious kids, the cleaning, the errands don't forget.... THE COOKING!!! The grocery shopping. The "Mom I'm hungry can you make me a peanut butter sandwich?" Oh God, peanut butter and BREAD! I hope I can manage to do all this without snacking or stealing a bite.

I pray my husband has the patients to put up with me during this trying time. The 10 days of liquids is only the beginning. Then there is the actual day of surgery. I know there will be pain. I am fully aware of what to expect after surgery. I know this will be an even tougher period than the liquids, but it will be so worth it. I will be healthier, be able to run around with my kids more. Go backpacking, hiking, run, maybe start up mountain climbing. All this without having to stop every 50 yards cause I can't breathe or because I just can not go on.

I will probably be posting frequently from this point forward. It may also be mostly venting and screaming but it will be a way for me de-stress. Well, until then. Wish me luck!